Want to make the holidays slow down a bit? Want to make Christmas not be here before you know it?
Join the others who have opened their homes to an elf this holiday season. December will last FOREVER. Trust me.
Yes, I'm talking Elf on the Shelf. And if you've never heard of E on the S, then you've been either a) asleep for the last few months or b) absolutely undefiled by social networking sites such as Facebook or Pinterest. Either way, I'm a little envious. I love to sleep- it's my personal choice of exercise; and Facebook and Pinterest are bad habits I can't seem to shake.
We didn't sign up for the traditional E on the S, but somehow we ended up with this sweet, little, pixie-headed girl named Wynona.
Or Wyoming. Or Pneumonia. Or WyNena.
Or That Woman, as Henry affectionately called her the first few days. We're finally all calling her by the correct name- with the exception of Liliana. Liliana is stickin' with WyNena. And there's no changing that, my friends.
At night, Wynona/nena magically wakes up and has a little fun around the house. She pretty much freezes in whatever mischief she's up to as soon as the first kid comes bounding down the stairs; and she stays that way all day long until we all go to sleep.
Want to see what Wynona has been up to these last few days? Well, of course you do!
On December 1st, she played a game of hide and seek with the kiddos. We finally found her swinging from the chandelier.
Then she left us a message on the kitchen mirror.
She wrote the names of the Fab 4 using our Banana Grams (which is a fabulous game, by the way!)
Then... she finished off the rest off the h@!!0w&&n candy. Ugh... we were really upset about that. Blasted Wynona.
Can you find little Wynona in this shot? She's in there.
Never did I ever consider showing the world our delicates, but that crazy W replaced our socks with our underwear! (I've joined Henry in calling our stockings socks. It does seem more appropriate.)
Half the family pulled their dainties-for-the-day from the mantle. Henry was especially happy to do this.
Aren't those the cutest boxers? Thank you very much!
Love...
I guess she needed a good soak. Who doesn't from time to time?
I only wish people would just use the clothes hamper!!!
That Wynona fixed herself to some pancakes! Am I the only one around here that knows how to clean up after myself? And where are her pajamas? I know she was wearing something under that robe. The kids checked the dirty clothes, with no luck. Wonder if they checked the dryer...?
The kids are loving Wynona/nena and Liliana is hoping she'll come back next Christmas and the next and the next. I'm not sure she'll be back next Christmas, but I'm fairly certain she'll be back tonight.
Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas!!
May the Peace of Jesus bless you this Holiday Season.
Yes, Liliana has finally lost a tooth. I was beginning to think a life of crime was in her future. Last year, she "borrowed" one of her sister's lost teeth and put it under her pillow. However, the Tooth Fairy was not fooled.
Although you would think the Tooth Fairy would be quite angry with this attempt at trickery, she was not. To all of our surprise, Liliana bounded down the stairs with a very sweet note and a vial of Fairy Dust! Liliana was SOOOO excited. Like more excited than I've ever seen her. I thought it was because of the personal note she received from the Tooth Fairy. Nope! She was excited about flying to school. What else would a Kindergartner use Fairy Dust for?
(Thankfully, we had removed the hardware on the upstairs windows and no harm was done.)
So a few days ago, sweet Liliana placed herown tooth in a baggie and on her bed and went to sleep. And then... bright and early, like 6ish bright and early, Liliana follows a trail of fairy dust through her room, down the stairs, around the corner, down the hallway, into the foyer, out the door, down the steps and into the yard.
She cheered at the dust, the $3, and another note from her Tooth Fairy. There was excitement in the house.
Then she proceeded to sweep that Fairy Dust up like it was gold!
Michal told her that if she sprinkled the dust on her head and made a wish it would come true. And she did. Over and over. So later that day my silver scalped little angel was in the back seat chatting away...
Liliana: I think the Moms and Dads are the Tooth Fairies. That's what I think.
Michal: You better believe, Liliana, or your wish might not come true.
Liliana: Mom, what do you think?
Me: I think you should listen to Honey. (that's Michal)
Liliana: Hmmmm... Hey, Mom! What if I were to ask God. What would GOD say? If I asked GOD if the Tooth Fairy was real, what would HE say?
Me: Hmmmm... Welllllll... Ummmmm... I think God would say that there is nothing more real than... HIM! Yes! God would say that nothing's more real than GOD.
Liliana: I'm smahhht. I think all the mothuhs are twicking all the kids with this Tooth Faiwy stuff. Yup, that's what I think. It's all a twick. And that's lying. I'm smahhht.
And we all laughed- even Liliana.
I'm not sure how much or what she believes, but I do know this:
she's not letting go of that Fairy Dust. Or that note.
Two Saturdays ago, Zeb smiled big when he shot his very first deer. For around here, it was a nice size buck- one to be very proud of! You can see the pictures by clicking HERE!
Then, on the spur of the moment, we decided to take a trip to Kentucky to visit Lee's people.
They have like a ga-jillion acres of hills-and-fields dedicated to deer. They work that land like a business- or so it seems.
So one week to the day after killing his first deer... Zeb downs this baby:
That's two Saturdays in a row killing a buck. Not bad for an eleven year old!
We were ALL way more excited than he was. All the man-hunters (not talking wild women here, but actually men who hunt) were asking him to tell the story. Every good kill has a story behind it, and it's usually pretty interesting... and exaggerated.
Zeb's story? I remember it word for word:
"It walked into the field. I shot it. It took 5 or 6 steps, then it died."
That's the long version, by the way.
Lord, help his future wife.
Just for fun, I'll add a few pics of my favorite husband and the kill we've lugged home over the years. I think both of these deer were mounted, but I'm not quite sure where they hang. It's not that my house is that big, but rather that it's not big enough- I'm quite stingy with the wall space.
You should have seen these bad boys strapped to the roof of my mini-van!
So I have a confession- a secret if you will. Please don't tell. People tend to get hot under the collar about this kind of stuff and I seriously hate conflict. Seriously.
I severely dislike Halloween.
I don't even like to say the word.
Oh, you didn't get that? Ok, one more time...
I severely dislike Halloween.
I don't even like to say the word.
What a load off! In good conscience, I will now begin this post.
THE BACKGROUND
I've tried- and failed- at homeschooling more than once. I wish I loved it, but I don't. I love summer. I love staying up late, sleeping in, and wearing my pajamas all day. I didn't become a stay-at-home-mom for nothing, my friend. Call me lazy if you want, I don't care. The house is clean, the laundry is done, and all kids are accounted for-- and that ain't easy.
All this recession business means Public School for a Homeschooling Failure. And Public School means H@!!0w&&n Parties. It means scary costumes and scantily clad children. Last year I heard that October 31st is the only time of year we encourage our little boys to dress like little girls and our little girls to dress like prostitutes. Simmer down, now... I didn't say that, I just heard it.
This year I was like, "Holy Moly! I have to get costumes together for all the Public School parties!! What to do? What to do?" After a severely stressful hour I convinced all the kids that they really, really wanted to be Indians. The Native American kind.
THE PICTURES
One little
Two little
Three little Indians!
And that, my friend, was the easy part. The hard part comes while trying to catch all that cuteness in a GROUP shot.
Can you just stand there and smile? Just one perfect shot is all I'm asking for here, offspring!! Be still. And smile, darn it!
Yeah, I know... never gonna happen.
I almost had it here... but I think Liliana and Henry took a few too many puffs off the old peace pipe.
Before I totally gave up, I threw Zeb into the picture. He was none too happy, but smiled because I told him I was putting it on Facebook no matter how grumpy he looked.
Obviously Lil doesn't care how goofy (or stoned) she looks on Facebook.
"Ok, just ONE more. Please try to look normal and happy. And cute. Ok, one... two... three... CHEESE..."
And Daddy photo-bombs the picture. Arghhhh....
Maybe next year...
Henry enjoying his party at school!
Liliana the warrior princess.
Although I'm totally flattered that everyone thought I made these costumes, the girls' tunics came from an open air market in Ethiopia. I never intended them to be costumes, but they are too awesome not to use. Henry's costume is a repeat from a few year's ago when the older three were Indians (the Native American kind) and I did, indeed, make it.
This was Fall 2009- one of the last years Zeb participated in dressing up. He totally rocked the Indian look! I look at this picture and wish my sweet Michal could be that age again for just one day. She was so stinkin' beautiful and sweet. Liliana, on the other hand, was TROUBLE! All that cute-ness saved her tail more than once.
So Happy Fall!
We're one step closer to Thanksgiving and Christmas and then to my FAVORITE holiday of all...
I've been getting to know one of my middle children a bit better.
Liliana has always been a... well... uh... a... challenge.
Since she could walk we've tagged her as Hurricane Lili. I joke that she's a Cat 3 storm... you know, not enough to kill you, but enough to make you think the end is really near.
Last weekend, with all the dramatic pausing and articulation she could muster, Lil declared, "Mama, I was born wild. I was born fast. I was born... Cheetah." She's been on a Cheetah kick for a few weeks now.
It all started when she told me that monsters were living inside her. "Liliana, Jesus lives in you, not monsters," I corrected.
"Well, Jesus may be in there, too, but so are Cheetahs. And cheetahs are fast. They are fast like monsters."
Currently, Liliana is designing her Cheetah costume. Not for Halloween, mind you. He goal is to dress as a Cheetah and move into the wild with them. She feels the costume will make up for the unfortunate fact that she is half girl.
Before embracing her inner Cheetah, she decided to get married. I fear I have failed in my attempt to teach my girls to marry someone with money. (And when I say money, I mean a set-aside-fortune, not a I-had-a-really-good-year-and-was-able-to-save-a-few-bucks.) Yet, I digress...
Lil is obviously unconcerned with money or looks. This chap must have a beaming personality...
I guess he married her for HER money. After all, she's a doctor. While not in surgery, Liliana makes sure her husband gets plenty of rest:
plenty of yoga:
and plenty of entertainment:
Yes, we Lewis girls know how to treat our men.
The marriage lasted a short while. I didn't tell her, but shortly after I found him floating around in the pool getting all cozy with someone else. Jerk.
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So Liliana is quite the outdoors girl. She loves to kayak.
Maybe she loves the idea of kayaking... We tether her kayak to mine in case she gets tired. I guess she's figured that one out.
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She's also learning to read and write. She does this every day and I smile when I find what's she's written.
(She's onto something here, folks... The Bible is true.)
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If only I could find the fun in everything...
"Sure, Mama! I'll eat the crust. Heeeyyyy!! What if my lips looked like this?"
And why can't she sing at McDonalds? Everyone deserves an ice cream microphone...
We topped off that ice cream with Ugly Soup (it's amazing... search this blog for the recipe and make it for dinner tonight) cooked by Chef Lili, herself! She did most of the cooking and most of the eating. 5 bowls. No joke.
And during all that cheetah-ing, singing, marrying, and cooking, my sweet girl still makes time for the little people. Meet Barbie, her beloved chicken:
After brining Barbie inside to play, Liliana decided the hammock was the perfect place to play with her chicken. Duh...
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Of all the things Lil does, my favorite is what she does with my camera phone when I'm not looking. The pictures and videos just crack me up. If you have a six year old and a smart phone, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Here's one of my favorite videos. The "Get off my furniture, you guys!!" in the middle is proof that I had no clue a music video was in production.
Steady as a creature... heehee.
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Lili, Lili, Lili, I really, really, really, really LOVE YOU!
Earlier this week Zeb and I were driving peaceably along, enjoying our day. We had been to the elbow doctor (don't judge, it hurts) and to Sam's. We were loaded up with prescription pain killers and groceries.
Due to Almost Isaac, the younger kids were being released from school a few hours early, and Big Z and I were on our way to get them.
So there we were, cruising down 319 when the two cars ahead of us slowed and stopped. Being the consciencious driver that I am, I slowed and stopped as well. Somehow or another, the driver behind me didn't get the memo. You know, the memo about slowing and stopping.
She didn't slow.
She didn't stop.
She never even touched the brakes.
And we had set such a good example for her.
Honestly, I didn't even know what hit me.
As any good blogger would do, even slightly dazed with pounding head and aching neck, I took a picture. Or three.
Oh, you'd like to see? Ok... Here's what hit me. Here's what chained the dull ache to my neck and my head. Here's what makes me want to eat painkillers like they're skittles. Here it is.
Brace yourselves...
BOOM! There it is.
If you look closely, you'll see that both her airbags deployed- even her steering wheel tried to slow her down.
I'm thinking she may need a new hood. And possibly a new "everything that goes under" it.
My van looked pretty amazing, if you ask me...
The damage is worse than it appears. My inner bumper - the one that's not plastic- is completely bent up into my floorboard, leaving a warped floor and zero protection if we're so rudely interrupted again. The little hole you see at the bottom of my back hatch invites carbon monoxide to join the war in the back seat; and as much as I'd like the two littles to hold it down a bit back there, I don't think CM poisoning is a viable solution.
Both the insurance adjuster and the guy who owns the body shop are quite impressed with how well my car held up- especially since we were hit sooo hard.
Thankfully, we didn't barrel into the car in front of us- who just happened to be my sister-in-law. She saw the whole thing in her side mirror and was braced and ready to join the party. All things considered, I know it's a miracle we didn't hit her- and I don't use the M word loosely here, folks.
We were both buckled up. It's the law. Zeb hit his head on the back of the passenger seat and then whipped back and knocked himself on the back of his own seat. I hit my head pretty hard on the back of my headrest.
Yep, it hurt pretty dang bad. But I didn't say the first ugly word. Cross my heart.
Within minutes there must have been 30 people on the scene and they were all more than helpful. It was dry as a bone when the lady hit me and then- as if the heavens were shedding the tears I so valiantly held at bay- it started to POUR. I mean POUR. And I had just washed my hair. Errrr.
It could have been 1,000 times worse. Seriously. Other than being painfully inconvenienced, everyone is fine. Sore and achy, but fine.
Although my body is a bit sore, my faith in friendship and small town camaraderie is stronger than ever. Our county's service workers were helpful and diligent. Friends and family showed up to check on me and see if we needed anything. Even my insurance agent offered to pick me up and take me home. Gotta love small towns!
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On a side note, I am very thankful that Isaac didn't rear his ugly head here, and my heart goes out to those affected by his wrath.
